We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
