You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think I am morally bankrupt
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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