I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
