in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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