i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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