Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize