Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
