I cannot find my penis.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
God I need to hump something, right now.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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