Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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