Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
