Your dad touched me again.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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