in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
