Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
