sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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