Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it hurts more in the daytime
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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