so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
