They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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