I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dignity is for republicans.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
