i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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