uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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