...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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