Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
