so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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