Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
