I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
