Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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