It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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