This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
These tits shall not be calmed
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize