No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Randomize
