they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
