wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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