Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
