I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
