drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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