I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
