I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
