I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
