I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
