butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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