he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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