I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
