In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
