I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
