Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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