I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
