Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Randomize
