wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
