this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
