physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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