Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
