I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
