she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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