after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
